Life's funny, like that

On the heels of discovering that issues of anxiety (for me) are very much rooted in the past, and dealing (or not dealing) with grief properly - leading to feelings of unworthiness and/or rejection in the face of emotional turmoil, my Grandmother has had life-threatening (or life-saving, depending how you look at it) surgery.

I spent most of the day yesterday with an enormous knot in my stomach, waiting to hear anything, really, about how she did in surgery. Her surgery began at 8am and was to be a (relatively simple) repair for an (admittedly HUGE) abdominal aortic aneurysm. Well, I suppose nothing can be simple when you're nearly 91, and she proved it. My sister called me at 1:30 to let me know that Gram was STILL in surgery and the prospects weren't great - they had to actually straighten out about 16cm of vein in order to de-calcify and then insert not one, but 2 stents (the MRI originally showed only an 8cm occlusion). Anyway. She got out of surgery just past 5 - intubated (that means she had to have a breathing tube to help her breathe) and was then sent to the PACU. The latest this morning is that she has been semi-awake (which is good, but not so good that they're saying she's out of the woods yet). She's still intubated, but they've moved her from the PACU to the ICU (again, good - but not so....... see last italicized statement). Waiting has never been a strong point for me.

Apparently Gram was the talk of the hospital yesterday. Dad was talking to loads of former colleagues and each and every one of them mentioned the "90 year old undergoing impossible surgery" - my Dad just smiled and said "that's my Mother-in-Law". I love when people wear peppermint shoes.

As a wonderful aside, I must mention that my Grandfather (now 101 - the youngest of his surviving siblings) was up and dressed to the nines by 4:30am - ready to take Gramma to the hospital. He's so sweet - and so worried about her.

Anyway. Anxiety levels are decreasing, I'm much more mellow today (my kids will be VERY happy about that - I got upset about a piece of paper on the floor yesterday - sheesh) and I'm sending healing thoughts out to her. Join in if you're able.