The last post was on Monday. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking of all of the people that I've been in touch with SINCE Monday. It's kinda crazy. Friendships that I thought were possibly irreparably broken or lost to the past are on the mend; rekindled, if you will. Surprises all over the place: and while I've found myself feeling a little melancholy, I've also discovered that that particular kind of sadness, or hope; excitement or resentment is now being tempered with the hope and excitement of meeting up with these people again.
So thank you.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Perspective
One's perspective is, I think, irreparably skewed by one's ego. For example: what you remember about a person is not necessarily what that person would expect you to remember, and vice-versa.
I've been thinking about that quite a lot today (guilty of facebook). In meeting up with friends of a lifetime ago (as far back as *gasp* high school), I'm finding myself surprised at what they remember, or don't - depending on circumstances. I'm also surprised by the rushes of emotion when hearing from friends that I didn't know I missed (or how much I missed them), until they say things like "hi pretty lady". Simple? Yes. And No.
Life experience and, at times, boredom, have written events into my memory - bringing them up for perusal when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable, or, as I just mentioned, bored. I think we remember events that helped to shape us or shame us into a particular mould... things that wouldn't necessarily effect the others involved. Did jealously (hers) over an old boyfriend (or perhaps 2) shape the way I eventually remembered a friend? Did that kiss mean more to me? Did I embarrass myself inexcusably at that party? Did he/she forget about me? What I want to say is "of course not" - but I don't really know, nor do I have the will or interest to seek out the answers to those questions from those people that matter(ed?). These insecurities are insane because if there's anything I've learned in the past 20 years, it's to live in the present, forget the past and look to the future. Those that want to come with you will.
However; having said that, I still find myself thinking about those things. Important or not; real or not; emotional; or not. What we want, I think, is to be remembered. Favourably, if at all possible.
And on that note, and ending with perspective, you must read this.
I've been thinking about that quite a lot today (guilty of facebook). In meeting up with friends of a lifetime ago (as far back as *gasp* high school), I'm finding myself surprised at what they remember, or don't - depending on circumstances. I'm also surprised by the rushes of emotion when hearing from friends that I didn't know I missed (or how much I missed them), until they say things like "hi pretty lady". Simple? Yes. And No.
Life experience and, at times, boredom, have written events into my memory - bringing them up for perusal when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable, or, as I just mentioned, bored. I think we remember events that helped to shape us or shame us into a particular mould... things that wouldn't necessarily effect the others involved. Did jealously (hers) over an old boyfriend (or perhaps 2) shape the way I eventually remembered a friend? Did that kiss mean more to me? Did I embarrass myself inexcusably at that party? Did he/she forget about me? What I want to say is "of course not" - but I don't really know, nor do I have the will or interest to seek out the answers to those questions from those people that matter(ed?). These insecurities are insane because if there's anything I've learned in the past 20 years, it's to live in the present, forget the past and look to the future. Those that want to come with you will.
However; having said that, I still find myself thinking about those things. Important or not; real or not; emotional; or not. What we want, I think, is to be remembered. Favourably, if at all possible.
And on that note, and ending with perspective, you must read this.
Friday, May 18, 2007
What can Brown do for me???
Well, they can deliver my g'damn package, that's what. They "guaranteed" delivery by 8pm last night. I'm still waiting. They're now "guaranteeing" delivery by 8pm tonight. I'm not holding my breath. You know? I've never had an on-time delivery from UPS. NEVER.
Goddessa? If you're out there, I would like to request a smiting.
Goddessa? If you're out there, I would like to request a smiting.
There were hords.
They ate
They hung out in the sun
They committed carnage on an innocent pinata.
Fun was had by all 2 dozen (plus 1) of them.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
8
She's going to be 8. At 10:21am tomorrow morning, my little girl's going to be 8. That's really exciting, and scary, and loads of other stuff - but that's my stuff, not hers. I'm feeling like this birthday is going to be a bit of a coming of age for her - not really a little girl, not yet a teen. I'm excited for her.
I'm going crazy trying to get things ready for her - I've laid out a new birthday outfit so that she'll see it when she gets up, with the promise of more presents throughout the day. It's going to be a BIG party - 20 confirmed at this point - and it's going to be a water party (thank god the weather's going to cooperate!). Leon's busy blowing up the pool as I write this - poor guy, he's got to have hyperventilated about a dozen times by now.
Will post with pics tomorrow (well, probably Thursday). Wish us all luck!
I'm going crazy trying to get things ready for her - I've laid out a new birthday outfit so that she'll see it when she gets up, with the promise of more presents throughout the day. It's going to be a BIG party - 20 confirmed at this point - and it's going to be a water party (thank god the weather's going to cooperate!). Leon's busy blowing up the pool as I write this - poor guy, he's got to have hyperventilated about a dozen times by now.
Will post with pics tomorrow (well, probably Thursday). Wish us all luck!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Oh, ouch!
What a hugely busy weekend! It's remarkable how you can start a weekend with a LONG list of things to do, work very hard, and STILL have things on the list on Monday morning! Well, quite alright. Most of what's left are 5 minute jobbies - pain in the behind 5 minute jobbies, but....
I LOVE the colour of our front and back decks - we painted the front "dark granite" and the back (the new one) natural tone cedar (stain). The results are just fantastic - one more day of drying and we're ready to go!
Mother's day was terrific - the kids brought me cards and coffee - my oldest made me a bath bomb (holy cow, she's only 7!), my youngest a very pretty "shopping list maker". My hubbie made breakfast, lunch and dinner - and even cleaned it all up! All in all, the best mother's day EVER! Jeez, now I have to think of something for father's day (maybe I'll declare an end to projects for the day?)!
The end of the list is in site. I'd best go and tackle it!
I LOVE the colour of our front and back decks - we painted the front "dark granite" and the back (the new one) natural tone cedar (stain). The results are just fantastic - one more day of drying and we're ready to go!
Mother's day was terrific - the kids brought me cards and coffee - my oldest made me a bath bomb (holy cow, she's only 7!), my youngest a very pretty "shopping list maker". My hubbie made breakfast, lunch and dinner - and even cleaned it all up! All in all, the best mother's day EVER! Jeez, now I have to think of something for father's day (maybe I'll declare an end to projects for the day?)!
The end of the list is in site. I'd best go and tackle it!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Doll Face
This is amazing, and beautiful and unbelievable and sends an enormously frightening message. Hope you enjoy it as much as I have
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Life's funny, like that
On the heels of discovering that issues of anxiety (for me) are very much rooted in the past, and dealing (or not dealing) with grief properly - leading to feelings of unworthiness and/or rejection in the face of emotional turmoil, my Grandmother has had life-threatening (or life-saving, depending how you look at it) surgery.
I spent most of the day yesterday with an enormous knot in my stomach, waiting to hear anything, really, about how she did in surgery. Her surgery began at 8am and was to be a (relatively simple) repair for an (admittedly HUGE) abdominal aortic aneurysm. Well, I suppose nothing can be simple when you're nearly 91, and she proved it. My sister called me at 1:30 to let me know that Gram was STILL in surgery and the prospects weren't great - they had to actually straighten out about 16cm of vein in order to de-calcify and then insert not one, but 2 stents (the MRI originally showed only an 8cm occlusion). Anyway. She got out of surgery just past 5 - intubated (that means she had to have a breathing tube to help her breathe) and was then sent to the PACU. The latest this morning is that she has been semi-awake (which is good, but not so good that they're saying she's out of the woods yet). She's still intubated, but they've moved her from the PACU to the ICU (again, good - but not so....... see last italicized statement). Waiting has never been a strong point for me.
Apparently Gram was the talk of the hospital yesterday. Dad was talking to loads of former colleagues and each and every one of them mentioned the "90 year old undergoing impossible surgery" - my Dad just smiled and said "that's my Mother-in-Law". I love when people wear peppermint shoes.
As a wonderful aside, I must mention that my Grandfather (now 101 - the youngest of his surviving siblings) was up and dressed to the nines by 4:30am - ready to take Gramma to the hospital. He's so sweet - and so worried about her.
Anyway. Anxiety levels are decreasing, I'm much more mellow today (my kids will be VERY happy about that - I got upset about a piece of paper on the floor yesterday - sheesh) and I'm sending healing thoughts out to her. Join in if you're able.
I spent most of the day yesterday with an enormous knot in my stomach, waiting to hear anything, really, about how she did in surgery. Her surgery began at 8am and was to be a (relatively simple) repair for an (admittedly HUGE) abdominal aortic aneurysm. Well, I suppose nothing can be simple when you're nearly 91, and she proved it. My sister called me at 1:30 to let me know that Gram was STILL in surgery and the prospects weren't great - they had to actually straighten out about 16cm of vein in order to de-calcify and then insert not one, but 2 stents (the MRI originally showed only an 8cm occlusion). Anyway. She got out of surgery just past 5 - intubated (that means she had to have a breathing tube to help her breathe) and was then sent to the PACU. The latest this morning is that she has been semi-awake (which is good, but not so good that they're saying she's out of the woods yet). She's still intubated, but they've moved her from the PACU to the ICU (again, good - but not so....... see last italicized statement). Waiting has never been a strong point for me.
Apparently Gram was the talk of the hospital yesterday. Dad was talking to loads of former colleagues and each and every one of them mentioned the "90 year old undergoing impossible surgery" - my Dad just smiled and said "that's my Mother-in-Law". I love when people wear peppermint shoes.
As a wonderful aside, I must mention that my Grandfather (now 101 - the youngest of his surviving siblings) was up and dressed to the nines by 4:30am - ready to take Gramma to the hospital. He's so sweet - and so worried about her.
Anyway. Anxiety levels are decreasing, I'm much more mellow today (my kids will be VERY happy about that - I got upset about a piece of paper on the floor yesterday - sheesh) and I'm sending healing thoughts out to her. Join in if you're able.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Yummmm
Do you like peanut butter cups? How about cookies? Well, here's a recipe I've developed combining the best of both worlds - AND you don't need flour to make it!
2 c. CHUNKY peanut butter(yes, it makes a difference - but only in the texture)
1 c. Sugar
3/4c. Mini Chocolate Chips (semi-sweet)
2 Eggs
Preheat oven to 325°.
Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix until well integrated. Roll into balls approx. 1” in diameter. Place on cookie sheet about 2” apart and flatten with a fork. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until light brown (cooking times will vary, depending on the size of the cookies) – do not overcook!
Makes 3 dozen.
My birthday gift to you... Enjoy!
2 c. CHUNKY peanut butter(yes, it makes a difference - but only in the texture)
1 c. Sugar
3/4c. Mini Chocolate Chips (semi-sweet)
2 Eggs
Preheat oven to 325°.
Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix until well integrated. Roll into balls approx. 1” in diameter. Place on cookie sheet about 2” apart and flatten with a fork. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until light brown (cooking times will vary, depending on the size of the cookies) – do not overcook!
Makes 3 dozen.
My birthday gift to you... Enjoy!
Monday, May 7, 2007
Afters
Well, it's done. The birthday, the deck (well, except staining and planters), the millions of relatives (which was mostly okay because they worked on the deck)....
Many thanks to everyone that made it out to help. Thanks also to Jim, who brought me the biggest brightest birthday bouquet I've EVER seen.
It was fun! Next weekend, the fence.
XO
Many thanks to everyone that made it out to help. Thanks also to Jim, who brought me the biggest brightest birthday bouquet I've EVER seen.
It was fun! Next weekend, the fence.
XO
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
It's MAY
Already. It's nearly summer. Holy crap.
Well, on the (other) bright side: the trellis fence is going to be done today (yes, 2 weeks later...), we're shopping for deck lumber tomorrow (yay) for the deck that's being built on the weekend, and the countdown to Casey's birthday has begun (she's marking her calendar... no, really).
Being the first of May (or any month, really), I made the pilgrimage to my favourite horoscope site to see what to expect for the month of May... and she, sadly, hasn't posted the new ones yet. Oh well, later.
So, what do you all think of PC? I'm finding more and more that I'm becoming quite annoyed with having to temper my opinions with phrases like "I respect such-and-such's right to.... but" when the fact of the matter is that I DON'T necessarily respect their choices and feel somehow that I need to temper my opinion in order to - what? - not hurt their feelings? While I DO respect people's rights to have an opinion, I also expect my RIGHTS to be respected. One does NOT have to respect my opinions. This has all come up because of an offensive quote in the Globe that was brought to light by Cheesefairy. I mean yes, it was about shoes, but still... One should not have to apologize for having an opinion, no matter how wrong it may be = )... um, that was a statement of support for Cheesefairy, not the idiot that wrote the comment in the Globe. *grin*
Well, on the (other) bright side: the trellis fence is going to be done today (yes, 2 weeks later...), we're shopping for deck lumber tomorrow (yay) for the deck that's being built on the weekend, and the countdown to Casey's birthday has begun (she's marking her calendar... no, really).
Being the first of May (or any month, really), I made the pilgrimage to my favourite horoscope site to see what to expect for the month of May... and she, sadly, hasn't posted the new ones yet. Oh well, later.
So, what do you all think of PC? I'm finding more and more that I'm becoming quite annoyed with having to temper my opinions with phrases like "I respect such-and-such's right to.... but" when the fact of the matter is that I DON'T necessarily respect their choices and feel somehow that I need to temper my opinion in order to - what? - not hurt their feelings? While I DO respect people's rights to have an opinion, I also expect my RIGHTS to be respected. One does NOT have to respect my opinions. This has all come up because of an offensive quote in the Globe that was brought to light by Cheesefairy. I mean yes, it was about shoes, but still... One should not have to apologize for having an opinion, no matter how wrong it may be = )... um, that was a statement of support for Cheesefairy, not the idiot that wrote the comment in the Globe. *grin*
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